I had a hard job this afternoon. I had to take one of our beloved cats, Bosworth, to be put down. He has been putting up a valiant fight against renal failure, but he had run out of lives and it was time to help him along to cat heaven. Intellectually, I know that ending the suffering when nothing more can be done and the quality of life has dropped to a miserable level is the right thing to do, but it is still heart wrenching to hold your furry friend as he takes his last breadth.
As a father of three boys I had to explain what was going to happen to Boz and why it was the best thing for him. This was not the first pet loss for any of them, but it was the nine year old with both the questions and the answers. He had the practical questions. "Will it hurt him?" and "What will we do with his body?" He also had the answers and the understanding I did not expect. He said, "it is all part of the great circle of life."
We have watched The Lion King a number of times over the years and we have talked about death and the cycle of life. Little did I know then that he would bring that wisdom back to me as we readied ourselves to say goodbye to Bosworth.
I share this story to encourage all of you to talk to you kids about movies they watch that have important messages or lessons. The movie is not the whole lesson, it is just the start. Listen to what they have to say and look at the world through their eyes. If they ask a direct question, give them a direct answer. You may be surprised at the answers they already have.
The [New] Lorax is in theaters now. It has a valuable lesson and warning, "Unless". Unless we talk to our children about the world we live in and how to care for it, the beauty may lost. Nature will surely adapt to pollution, global warming and habitat loss, but we will lose a great deal and the resulting ecosystem may not be particularly kind to humans. To me the lesson is to get the kids outside and help them to build a relationship with the plants and animals that live in the local woods, creeks and lakes. One can not miss something ones does not know. Don't talk about the loss of rainforests, global warming or saving an endangered species on the other side of the world, until you have first help them get connected to the environment they live. Once they have developed that bond with the natural world around them, then and only then will they have the perspective and understanding to take in and process that bigger issues.
Let them go into the woods and play. Let them come home muddy and wet. Ask them what they saw, what they heard, what they touched and smelled. Talk to them about how nature works as wondrous system with every living thing giving and taking from that system.
On a camp out this past weekend, a group of scouts witnessed a fish eat a small frog (I thought, "how cool"). I was surprised (I probably shouldn't have been) when several of them were horrified and sadden that the fish had eaten the frog. Unfortunately, it was not the moment to talk to them about the "circle of life" and that the fish was not being mean, it was just hungry. I can only guess that no one has had that conversation with them yet. We all eat other organisms, plants (salads, fruits, vegetables) and animals, but all too often we are disconnected from the living form of our food and that makes me sad.
I apologize for the long and somewhat meandering post. The words have been rolling around in my head all day and I just needed to get them down. Life and death are part of the balance of nature and the more we understand how it works the better able we are to live within it.
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